what is a belt for?

Belts are for holding your pants up!
Remember those infamous pants that one of my students would chastise me about? With the help of these pants, I have discovered the common use of the belt! Yes, ladies, belts are meant to hold you pants up, not just look cute, define your waist through your knitted trashbag seater, or add bling to your midsection. You can really use these things like child-lock for your asscrack. Keep that thing from jumping out the back of your pants and disrupting traffic in a bad way.
I used to despair the fact that these pants were perpetually loose, and had already designated them as this year's Thanksgiving&Christmas pants, but no longer! I can wear them any day with a belt!

Well, I probably won't wear them this weekend since it's supposed to be uncannily warm. I think I'll wear a skirt and hop over to Union Square to observe the ice skaters and have some frozen yogurt. After all, how often do these opportunities arise when one can comfortably wear a skirt over bare legs in mid-November in this part of town?

Probably as often as they set up an ice rink in Union Square.